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Saturday, February 19, 2011
I'm just not sure of what im thinking right now. I do miss the times :(  Peeps nowadays are such a busybody. I have no idea why they wana get involved so much. I mean, especially when you're a guy, and you start to get as kehpoh! Waliao, perempuan pun kalah, bro! And please Mister, don't be as dumb to even believe what you hear. Find out the truth before you start to jump to conclusions and accuse people as much, okay? I mean, both of you are old enough to think, what's right and what's wrong. So, please, make full use of your common sense, alright???  I've had enough of all the accusations you've made and all the attitude problems that you give. And yes, with the help of my cousin, Kak Nana, I realised that it's not worth a single dime for me to even reminisce about what's that happened nor to cry anymore. I don't wish to abandon everything just like that. But hey, if you can have what you want, so can I. I don't wana be stupid to just go on with the flow and have sorrows conquering me up. It's not what I want. Even I, do have a life to live. And even I know how to move on. So, don't you ever get yourself to thinking that I'm weak. After all, you never cared. All you did was to just put the blame on me. You keep on searching for all my faults, thinking that you're always the right one, the perfect one. But hey, always remember that, NOBODY'S PERFECT, kay bro? You'll always stay as ego and wait for me to admit that it's all my fault and wanting me to plead for your forgiveness. Well bro, like my mum said, "If he wana continue being the new him, then you gotta be the new you as well, Adik." No more, Ms Nice Lady here okay? I'll get as even if you get as terrible. No doubt, I've never put our memoirs to waste. It'll always be remembered by me and so, trust me in what I say here. I enjoy being with you and our times together. But, I can't let all these to just go on for the whole of our lifetime, right? We gotta mend things up and do something about it. So, here I am, doing something.  All I want is for you to just wake up and start to recognize things. Like what Kak Nana told me, "This is the perfect time for him to have some growing up to do in himself." And yes, I totally agree with her. And yes, when there's something that you do for somebody, please, be sincere, okay? You don't have to expect anything in return. It simply tells me that you're not sincere when you actually expect something in return. Learn and grow up, bro. Change your mindset, please. I don't wana continue being in this situation. It's not healthy. I really hope that this time-off of ours will initially make you think, learn and grow up. Nevertheless, I'll always be here to help you out, though. All this doesn't mean that I hate you already. I never did, okay? It's just that, I want you to realize that the mindset that you have now, is totally wrong, alright? Haiss, it's all gone with the wind now. I'm really sorry but, I have to do this for the sake of us. Tskk! WAKE UP, PLEASE. WAKE UP! See ya.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction." It's really been bugging me and I can pretty much do nothing except to just be patient and endure with what I'm going through. It bothers me real much and nobody, I repeat, NOBODY seems to understand what I'm feeling right now. Problems are all around me and conquering me up. I have no idea on what they are simply up to. For goodness sake, I have had more than enough problems that has yet to be settled and now, more of it are along the way. Tskk. Precisely, I do wish that there is atleast a somebody to be the listening ear for me. But, it's just the fact that nobody wants to be there for me. I don't regard it all as a burden. Instead, it's a challenge which initially leaves me no choice or options on wether I wana take it or not. No doubt, I still need someone to guide me and strive through, along my way to the end. Not a single soul have ever seen me spending my sleepless nights crying and thinking of all the solutions that I could find to put it all to an end. And even if they do, they don't seem to care! I'm no longer visible to them all. They can't read what's on my mind. They can't understand what's in me and they have no idea on how grateful that I would be if they were to be there to atleast accompany me! Eventually, I do look like one walking corpse nowadays. With these eyebags and my sloppy-mode, I do hate the way I spend my days now. I miss the days whereby I'm the happiest kiddo among my friends and I would go around, laughing and smiling widely with them around me. But I can no longer have those days by me now. They do ask and talk to me on how different I look like now that really bothers them alot. And all I could do is to just give them a very fake smile and tell them that there's nothing that I can do to stop it. But, I do appreciate the way they would really try hard to make me smile even if I had to really force myself to do so. They really want me to quickly get myself over all these and spend my time with them again, like how I used to, 2 months ago. How I wish that I have more than enough strength to just stay strong and lead my life like I used to. Haiss. I'm losing my mind over this. I can't get everybody to depend on me and expect me to just handle everything on my own. I'm not strong enough, get it? I AM NOT! Tskk. I don't wish to be the moodless girl who blows my tops off over minor things just because I have too much problems and troubles running around in my mind, waiting for me to settle it all and let them go. I wanna let them all go and to just be problems-free. But, I simply realised that I'm living in the world of reality and not fantasy.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
"Never ever lie to me unless you're absolutely sure that I won't find out the truth."
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
 I've not been updating much lately and even if I did, it would be a very, very short and simple post, I must say. I agree that school life have been getting more and more interesting as days go by. We're starting get close with one another and I do miss my annoying and funny clans when I spend my Fridays at home. In fact, it's a long weekend for me to spend in order to get back to school on the next week. Sometimes, I do wish that I can simply spend my time with them. Being with them is so heavenly. In spite of that, I do get tired of waking up early 4 days a week to get to school as early as 8! So, due to my long showers, I have to wake up at 6.30 daily. Nak bangun pagi tu, bercinta betul lorr! Tsk. It's been merely 5 to 6 months since I last met my secondary school friends and it's really killing me! I wanna meet them and plan on an outing with them but the time is not right yet. So, I just have to bare with it. Most of them are now busy with their current lives and I pretty much understand them :)) Now, I'm in class, doing nothing ^^, We had to do our HTML inputs earlier and today, we started to learn on how to create Surveys and Forms. In spite of the confusing codes and inputs, I managed to complete it within minutes! So yeah, it's really interesting though. No doubt, I still have lots more to learn and I'm well-prepared. LOLs. Precious's at home, enjoying his peaceful sleep. He was only told that he need not attend work, THIS MORNING! He was showering when Ayah suddenly came into my room and said, "Adik, bilang Ahpekk niari dia tak ada job." LOLs. Kesian lah orang yang dah semangat nak pergi kerja. HAHAHA. And as usual, he'd fetch me from school on his off-days. So, yeah :)) Have I told you that we gotta start saving our cash nowadays? And it simply means that we have to cutdown on our outings and dates in order to spend less. Like what we'd usually hear from people around us, "Life's like a wheel. There are times to be at the top and times to be at the bottom." So yeah, it's the so-called our bottom part of life now. Some financial problems arose. I really hope that it'll only take us sometime so that we can get back on track like before. I miss our dates and stuffs. Despite that, it's really troubling Precious. Being in his situation is really not easy. I mean like, he's earning for a living which is miles far away from his family for work and yet, he is under Temporary worker and therefore, he only gets paid for the days that he has jobs to do. And yeah, lately, he has not much jobs which initially lets him earn lesser than before. And from here, it's really his stressful pathway to walk on. I really hope that certain people can just simply understand what he's undergoing now and not to add anymore burden for him to carry. I really pity him alot, I do. I just hate seeing him being stressed-out and frowning all the time, thinking on how he can solve this problem. How I wish I'm allowed to work and help him around. Tsk. I mean like, it's really saddening when you see the one you treasure alot, falling down and you simply can't help much. Haish. Put it aside. Valentine's day is coming and I'm so not into it. Firstly, we're not encouraged to celebrate it since we're Islamic. Secondly, even if we do, I don't think that the both of us would even get to celebrate it in a situation as terrible as this. So, forget it, is what I can say. Next up is our 10th Monthsary and I'm not sure if by then, we'll still be able to celebrate it or not. But, what I'm thinking of now is that, I don't hope for anything on our Monthsaries. All I want is just for us to get back on track so that we will be able to celebrate our first anniversary! And I hope that it'll be different from our usual monthsaries. Amin. That's all for today's post. Will update again when I have the time. XOXO
Monday, February 07, 2011
 A little summary on the wedding combo which was held last month. I know, it's outdated lorr. Haa. But still, I think that it was tremendous in spite of the very rainy afternoon. And as promised, we had the pictures uploaded in Facebook already (like finally). It's really a chore to tag loadsa people each at a time. Haa. but still, I'm over it now. And as for our Kompang and Tarian, it was seriously more than what I expected :)) Thumbs up KTN. Lem'me share. At first, we thought of presenting the Kompang and Tarian as a gift for both the newly-weds. But in the end, a few camera-mans suggested that we sum up as a group to gain some profit. Henceforth, we held a short meeting the day after. Alhamdullillah, everyone of us agreed with the plan and we went on. That was how we came out with the group name and it's KTN (Kumpulan Takda Nama). It's pretty much random but confirmed :)) We love it though. Haa ^^, Be it temporary or permanent, we'll still treasure the moments :)) And yes, videos have succesfully been uploaded in Facebook as well. Do feel free to drop by and have a look yeah? Thanks. February were well-spent with cousins and Precious. We had loadsa outings these days and I swear, I'm more than happy as the cousin-bondings we have now, is way much more better than before. And it's a blessing for me. No more busy days like before. No more being left-out like before. Hehes. Last week, we went for Karaoke Session since it the CNY eve. So, kita pun 'melalak'. LOLs, And Saturday was spent out to Town! It's really enjoy-zing :)) Looking forward to the next outing! Sentosa, perhaps??? XOXO |
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