It's really been bugging me and I can pretty much do nothing except to just be patient and endure with what I'm going through. It bothers me real much and nobody, I repeat, NOBODY seems to understand what I'm feeling right now. Problems are all around me and conquering me up. I have no idea on what they are simply up to. For goodness sake, I have had more than enough problems that has yet to be settled and now, more of it are along the way. Tskk.

Precisely, I do wish that there is atleast a somebody to be the listening ear for me. But, it's just the fact that nobody wants  to be there for me. I don't regard it all as a burden. Instead, it's a challenge which initially leaves me no choice or options on wether I wana take it or not. No doubt, I still need someone to guide me and strive through, along my way to the end. Not a single soul have ever seen me spending my sleepless nights crying and thinking of all the solutions that I could find to put it all to an end. And even if they do, they don't seem to care! I'm no longer visible to them all.
They can't read what's on my mind. They can't understand what's in me and they have no idea on how grateful that I would be if they were to be there to atleast accompany me! Eventually, I do look like one walking corpse nowadays. With these eyebags and my sloppy-mode, I do hate the way I spend my days now. I miss the days whereby I'm the happiest kiddo among my friends and I would go around, laughing and smiling widely with them around me. But I can no longer have those days by me now. They do ask and talk to me on how different I look like now that really bothers them alot. And all I could do is to just give them a very fake smile and tell them that there's nothing that I can do to stop it.
But, I do appreciate the way they would really try hard to make me smile even if I had to really force myself to do so. They really want me to quickly get myself over all these and spend my time with them again, like how I used to, 2 months ago.

How I wish that I have more than enough strength to just stay strong and lead my life like I used to. Haiss. I'm losing my mind over this. I can't get everybody to depend on me and expect me to just handle everything on my own. I'm not strong enough, get it? I AM NOT! Tskk. I don't wish to be the moodless girl who blows my tops off over minor things just because I have too much problems and troubles running around in my mind, waiting for me to settle it all and let them go. I wanna let them all go and to just be problems-free. But, I simply realised that I'm living in the world of reality and not fantasy.