♡ Ahpekk & Hunney ♡
200410
Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sometimes, people just don't realize their mistakes or they just don't want to admit that they are simply in the wrong. 
Or a better word: EGO.
People, you must come to know that a pair of couple who's madly in love are NOT just drunk and 'lost in their own world', okay? We still do knock senses into us, alright? We're not as selfish as you are. It's simple. all we gotta do is to just make it healthy and strong. Not the other way round.
For once, think of what others would feel too, alright? You're not the only who has feelings and emotions. Every living thing does, okay? 
So, think about it. Do you think that it's fair enough to treat people in such a way? Is that what you're up to? Well, if that's that, then go on, give yourself a round of applause.
Satisfied much? Good for you then, if you are.
But lem'me tell you one thing here: People's patience do have their limits. And if I were to lose mine, then, you better be prepared to face the mucic. 
Im'ma tell you straight off and for sure, I don't give a shit about how you're gonna feel with all that Im'ma let out! Right here, right now, I'm trying to make things better and stop all the nonsense from going on.
But, it seems that everybody wants us to end it that way, huh?
Frankly speaking, I already do know what you're up to. And hereby, I'm telling you, I don't bother anymore. 
I'm not trying to show that I'm giving up but I'm simply letting you know that, you can go on and do whatever you want to do to me. Go ahead and play around with my feelings and emotions.
 But, always remember that, Karma will always hit you back.
And then, I'll be your worst nightmare ever!
You'll spend your sleepless nights like how I used to. And by then, there's no such word as 'FORGIVING' in my dictionary.
Get the picture?? 
And as for You, spend sometime thinking about how fair you are towards yourself. Spend time reminiscing about what you've told the world, what you've promised the world.
Be honest enough and tell/show me, who's the real you. Insincerity will only bring unhappiness and nothing else. Bear this in mind and think through.
Isit really supposed to be done this way?? Be truthful and fair to yourself.
Then, you'll learn what's the meaning of True Love and how you'll make it happen to us.
Just remember that promises are meant to be kept and you have yet to keep every single one of your promises that you've made to me, the world and most importantly, YOURSELF. 
Change your mindset and stop thinking that there's always a Somebody to help you out and clear things out for ya.
It's time you get on your own feet and start walking on your own path! You shouldn't be depending on people all the time.
 And, I can't be the only one who cares about all this! It'll only make me look and feel stupid! It'll also tell me that: Hey, is this somekind of a joke to you that you don't even have to bother anymore???
Gosh. Knock some sense, dangggg~
Usually, you'd go on saying that you're sick and tired of my attitude. Lem'me tell you this, alright?
You have yet to see MY ATTITUDE.
What you've seen so far, is not even a start of it. Oh come on, stop complaining like a kid and behave like and adult since you are one now!!!
You never failed to say that you do love me but your love has fades, huh?
How tremendous!
I love the way you arrange your sentence. Seriously. I've never heard of it from anyone else, but you.
You've taken things for granted for umpteenth times!!
You kept on saying that it's really difficult for you now. But lem'me tell you here: I Will Make Things Really Difficult.
How's that??? Not trying to boast around here but, since you kept on saying all those un-necessary rubbish, then I will surely make it happen.
And then, we'll see, whose love initially fades, alright?
Try harder, bro. I dare you to seriously show me all that you've got. And, you have yet to see the ATTITUDE side of me.
So, standby :)


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

SHAFFER C. SMITH ♥


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Well, this time round, my post's gonna be a little complicating.
I'm gonna mix and match my update with both English and Malay. So, standby all.
I'm definitely losing hope and faith already. With whatever that's going on around, I can simply assume that, you just don't care anymore and there's nothing that I can do about it.
But please, I'm tired of waiting and hoping. I can't live my life with such a mess. I don't wana keep on hoping and shedding my tears non-stop when you don't even bother. For once, please, let's just settle everything and end it once and for all.
If you think that you've had enough of everything, then so do I. But hey, be matured enough and don't leave your problems with no solutions to it. It's not gonna work, for sure. Please lah, be matured enough.
I don't mind if you wana end it all just here. I'm definitely fine with it. But please, don't leave me clueless here. It's not how it's supposed to be, you get me? Kalau you rase you dah penat dengan all this, let me tell you something. I lebih penat daripada you, okay? Every now and then, I harapkan you to atleast contact me in a way or another. But then, it just didn't happen. 
What else can I do, you tell me??? Takkan I nak all the way bodohkan diri and let myself drown with all this pain, kan? 
Please, clear things out. Haiss. I'd rather we lose our relationship in a better way than to let it left hanging around, waiting for the answer/solution to be given to it. I really hope that you'll knock some sense into yourself and realize things. I don't want it to be too late (if you get what I mean).
XOXO


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Okay, this is seriously the only page or even place where I can let out my feelings. 
I'm more than confused and lost now. I miss the times when we'd be spending loadsa quality time together. I miss the times when you'd put me to sleep. I miss the times when you'd wake me up at night, pleading me to accompany you have your late-dinner since you reached home late, due to overtimes.
I miss the times when you'd convince me as much, that you're worth my trust. I miss the times when you'd comfort me when I sulk. I miss the times when you'd sleep on my lap. 
I miss the times when you'd look deeply into my eyes and say "ILOVEYOU" for almost every minute. And, I even miss the times when you'd shower me with your love very, very dearly!

All that's gone with the wind now. I really want to know what's become of you! I want to know why you changed! I find it that our relationship don't mean much to you, anymore, and I wonder why. I can see that you don't even bother to care for me anymore. 
You've become so heartless now! Day by day, your ego is getting stronger and stronger. All I want is for you to show me your concern, give me all your love and be honest to me, every single time. That's all. Am I even asking for too much? Oh come on, what's so difficult about fulfilling my wishes???
All you care is about yourself. I mean, you expect people to know how you feel and understand you about your situation. But do you even bother about mine?? Haiss.
I've no idea on what I should do now. It doesn't matter anyway, does it? For all you care to know is about your own selfish life!

When will you ever realize that this relationship is already 11 MONTHS OLD, now?!?!?! When will you realize that I love this relationship so much and I can't bear to lose it??? When will you ever realize your mistakes even??? Haiss. Don't you remember on how much we had to go through just to make this relationship that we've built, to stand stronger and stronger so that it'll last till now?!?!? Well, you don't, do you? Tskk.

I really hope that you'd realize and give yourself a wake up call, real soon. I don't wana prolong this matter any further, please. It's not doing me or even us any good. Just one thing that you should know. If you do love some other girl out there, I'm fine with it. But please, don't do this to me. Just be frank tell me the truth . Thanks.
XOXO 


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I'll not be updating as often these days. Urmm, I've never been updating often anyway. 
LOLs xD
Well, my weekly schedule's getting tighter and tighter now. Fridays, I'll be having my Gentarasa Training from 7pm to 10pm weekly! And we'll be having trainings on Saturdays as well but from 2pm to 7pm. 
Tiring but enjoyable, you know? Hehes. We get to meet new lovely friends who are dancers just like us :)
The show will be held in about 2months time and I gotta have myself well-prepared o.O 
For now, my aim is to get myself used to the long training hours. I mean, we don't really break-times. The main intention is to get well-prepared, that's all. So, yeah, we had to skip meals though we don't want to =.=' 
Luckily, we'll be enjoying our 3weeks of school holidays with effect from next week (like finally). I've been looking forward to that. At least, I have my holidays to rest myself :) 
And should I mention that my family will be driving off to our neighbouring country as our cousin (on Mama's side) is getting married. I find it very weird like even now as we've not met any of our cousins on Mama's side before. Well, not really that we've never met before, lah. Just that, we've only met a few of them and I can consider that Mama's family tree is quite huge as well. So, standby o.O
For now, I don't wana mention much about what's between me and Precious Muhd Neyo. We're not in bad terms, lah. Just that, we don't really communicate much and stuffs. I don't know what's got into him these days. I'm just going on with the flow and letting him say all that he want. I don't wana prolong this matter anyway. It won't do me any good, for sure. All I know is that, our 11th Monthsary's in 5days time and it falls on the day whereby he'd 'Lupa Dunia'. Well, if you get what I mean ^^, His 17th birthday is also just round the corner and I'm more than sexxcited, for sure. But still, it all depends on how we're going on throughout. So, let's just skip all these till the days are really reaching. I mean, I don't wana set any high hopes. If you were to be in my shoes, then, I'm sure you'll get what I mean, yeah?
So, wait for my next update, yeah?
XOXO






Sunday, March 06, 2011


Like finally, I'm updating now. LOLs.
These days, I've been truly unwell and I missed loadsa lessons o.O In a blink of an eye, I'll be sitting for my Phase Test tomorrow and I barely know much. Hopefully, the test won't leave me with loadsa question marks going round in my mind.



Past few days, I spent most of my time sleeping and coughing out loud. Besides that, we'll be having our next show in a month time and I have yet to choreograph the steps for our new dance. I'm more than worried. Tskk. I really gotta force myself to be strong and forget that I'm still recovering. I'm so worried that I got way too cranky all the time, especially during our training days! But still, I deserve to be cranky towards them. I mean, with their regular late-comings and all. Not disciplined at all! Hmm.
And ohh, I have approximately 24 days left to prepare the surprises that I'll be presenting my Precious Muhd Neyo. Hehee. I'm all sexxcited! Not only that, without realising, we'll be celebrating our very First Anniversary real soon. Oh my, time does fly, yeah? Woww.



And yes, our March holidays's round the corner and I'm looking forward to that. I need some time-off, like seriously. I'm really ill and it really takes a lot of time for me to get really well. Haiss. I don't want to get any worse, okay? Please, recover soon. Tskk.



Moreover, Precious Muhd Neyo's now out for training at Changi Beach o.O And I'm here, rotting at home, lying around in bed for almost the whole day! I'm tired of just lying around. I wana get as active and hyper like before. But it really does take time for me to do so. I'm sick for like this whole month, ya know??? Tskk. It's bothering me. Haiss. And my Precious Muhd Neyo is definitely not helping me. All he does is to scare me by saying
"Tak boleh salahkan jugak lah, baby. Sekarang kan musim bird-flu."
And I seriously gave him a very big of this =.="
"Good luck with your Phase Test tomorrow, Myself -.-"


Beloved ;


♡ Since 20th April 2010 ♡
"We lead our lives, our way. We need not anyone else to show us how to stay."

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